Running out of Luck
by Selderaya
Summary: Oneshot (and a really short one at that) - What if Onslaught killed most of X-Force, and Domino was left unable to do a thing about it? (Answer: she angsts.) Rated for language.


**A/N: **All ©Marvel. Period.  
This was originally a sample of my writing skills for an RPG called Excalibur ReDrawn (http/p097. where I applied for the character of Domino, but Sue Penkivech made me upload it. Never would have otherwise... To make things short: Onslaught killed X-Force while Domino and Cable were away. So what are her thoughts?

* * *

Her movements were mechanic in nature. Fingers massaging her skin slowly, kneading the sore muscles underneath, Domino couldn't be bothered to pay any attention to what she was doing. For the moment, she didn't want to. Lately, it was all she'd been doing... distracting herself endlessly, focusing on whatever small thing came across her path, beating herself numb with any training exercise she and Nate were able to come up with - it didn't matter what she was doing, as long as she was doing _something_. Any moment spent alone, any silent minute, whenever she had nothing on her hands and nothing on her mind... inevitably, their faces came drifting back.

She couldn't handle that. Couldn't handle the painful, stinging realization that that vague reminder of who they were was all she'd ever have from now on - because she'd failed them. Because she hadn't been there. And now, more than anything, ever since they'd attempted to contact them and failed, ever since Nate had looked at her after reaching out for them telepathically, shaking his head... All Domino wanted was to fucking take revenge.

Even now, standing underneath the shower, nothing surrounding her but the steam and scalding hot water pounding down on her chalk white skin, she felt the rage inside. And she couldn't _do_ anything about it. Couldn't go there, because underneath all the layers of rage and anger and hurt, underneath that stinging knowledge that they wouldn't come back, _ever_, she knew that it wouldn't help. Wouldn't even do so much as soothe her conscience.

For all her luck, for all her experience, for all her skills, the sane part of Domino (and fuck, she was far from feeling sane at the moment) knew that she'd just die. He wasn't any match for her. Wasn't a match for Nate. He didn't like it any better than she did, but... They'd just fucking die.

Like they had.

Domino squinted her painfully burning eyes closed, face distorting in a harsh grimace as she turned her head up. The water fell on her head, entered her nose, streamed past her cheeks and hair and neck down her body, and she was grateful for it. She wanted to yell and scream and fight, and she wanted to _run_ and forget at the same time... but for the moment, the water that intermixed with the salt tear drops was all the comfort she could get. And she'd take it.

It wasn't like she feared death. Certainly not now. Taking risks... never as risky for her as for others. But this wouldn't be a risk, this was a goddamn certainty. At the moment, she couldn't care less, as long as she could do something, but she couldn't afford to. There were other things... other people... that needed her, too.

Nate did, she knew. It was his team too. He wasn't taking this any better than she was (and fuck, how _could_ he be?), and...

And it all didn't matter.

Domino couldn't do anything about it anymore. Couldn't go back and keep them far, far away from it all. Couldn't fight and prevent it. Couldn't fight and take vengeance.

Things, for once, were not falling into place. And she couldn't... couldn't handle it. The burning returned with a vengeance and she pressed her lips together, biting on the inside - harshly - until she felt the warm, coppery taste on her tongue, wanting to scream but unable to.

Couldn't do it. Anything. With a sudden jerk, the water was turned off and she reached for the towel nearby. No more fucking tears. None of this whining anymore. It was time to return to... whatever it was she would be doing for distraction this time. Domino felt like she could use some violence now, she decided as she ran the towel past her face, irritatedly wiping away the combination of tears and water. She refused to look into the mirror. Her eyes were no doubt swollen and red, and... there was no need to actually see and acknowledge her own weaknesses by seeing them.

Because she wasn't weak, god damn it.


End file.
